From time-to-time I find myself with a desire to create something. I have this innate desire to craft something with my own two hands that I can be proud of. Something I can leave behind. Something I can point to and proclaim that I accomplished something with my time (my "free" time that is). The tragedy in all this is my lack of any talent or ability to craft anything. The closest I have ever come to a craft has been writing, but I have been suffering from writer’s block for the last decade (more really).
So tonight I had that urge to do something that would be creative. Even something small. Something that would engage my imagination. Once again I hit a block and have failed. My evening was almost entirely frittered away, and nothing has been done to show for it. This bothers me even more because the pressure to create has been building, and coming to a head tonight has done no good, for nothing came of it. The worst of it is I had a glimmer of an idea but I really wanted to spend time with my wife, and the idea was not one easily shared and partnered, after all I find it hard to write a story with another person (joint authors).
So I close this day somewhat depressed and disappointed, as I do not have anything to show for my time spent.
Comments
This happens way to often to me. Just like you I will come home from work on Friday and want to write some code for an open source project, or write some code to scratch an itch of my own. Come Monday morning however, that desire is still there, though severly muted by not actually working on anything, and the need to do “real” work. Kind of a bummer.