For reasons I’m sure would only fascinate a select few of you I found myself filling out an online registration form for an online forum network. List most systems I have the ability to adjust my profile and specify the name people will see. I could use a handle, a code-name, or my real name. This particular forum was being used by folks to put their real (or at least they seem normal enough to be real) names in their profiles, so I did the same. It’s a rather common occurrence, in fact asking someone’s name is perhaps one of the most common things we do when meeting a stranger. The funny thing is, us Americans tend to hide one of our names.
Somewhere back in the mists of time I decided I would refer to myself on as many documents as I could with my full name, not just the full name as many people think (first and last name) but with all three names. Thus my blogs all bear the author’s name as “Seth Croston Barber”. Most of my school assignments had the same name, which is to say I have been doing this for quite some time, and yet I always hesitate when giving my full name. I hesitate because most people don’t, and I ponder what strangers will think of me when they read not one or two, but three names. I don’t want to seem pretentious, but I’m not just “Seth Barber”, nor am I just “Seth”.
It is unfathomable why we give our children three names, then act as if they didn’t have a middle name. In truth the only times I hear my middle name spoken aloud (apart from very formal ceremonies) is when I am in trouble (thankfully that has been many, many years). Why do we have this name that we don’t use? It’s almost as if we are ashamed of our names, or we don’t like it. More likely it’s not all that useful. A first and last name (or nickname even) suffice to identify us, and isn’t that what a name is supposed to do? Identify us in a list of other names?
I don’t quite understand all the mystery and avoidance. Maybe it’s because I like my middle name (and my full name) but I for one don’t mind being known as “Seth Croston Barber”. However, if anyone actually calls me by that in conversation I’ll probably look at them funny.
Comments
I can think of two reasons for this phenomenon.
1. Brevity. We only use names o distinguish individuals, and it is our nature to use the least amount of identifying information as we can. Middle names are not unique in the context of familial relationship, so we rely on first and last. Middle seems to have no real purpose.
In my family, we use middle names to honor friends and family, or carry on family tradition. My middle name is the middle name of the first born sons for generations back, and is my oldest son’s middle name to continue the tradition.
Most of my other children’s middle names are the names or middle names of people or family members we wanted to honor.
Only one child has an honor-giving first name. ;)
2. Names were once associated with mystic power. A “true name” could give a witch, warlock, sorcerer, what-have-you the ability to specifically target an individual from afar. So, I can’t help but wonder if there has grown a tradition of concealment based on that old folk lore.