Too Sensitive about Marriage?

I imagine, and am quite certain in fact, my sensitivity is due to my own state in life. I am still newly married (though four years hardly seems new any longer). I am a fortunate and blessed man to have found and married an innocent, kind, and pure individual, a woman with whom few could have a quarrel. She is to me all the good things in this life, and my fondness for her knows no bounds. So it is little wonder that I get restless, agitated, and even a little angry when the wife of a protagonist is held hostage, threatened, molested, or other wise done harm.

It is no conscious though which draws a connection between the suffering wife of a story and mine own, which is why it has taken me so long to figure out precisely why I am troubled by such plot devices. It is a good plot device; were I to ever be the protagonist in an epic tale surely the villain would know my wife is my Achilles's heel and strike there. Surely he'd know I would fret and worry that she were being mistreated, abused, and treated in a fashion that would soil our marriage bed. From a writing standpoint this is an excellent conflict, for it is one no one can deny the validity of, and furthermore it is one that can (and most assuredly will to some extent) draw readers into the story in an emotional way. And yet I don't like it.

Worse still are the stories where the man is charming and wonderful before the marriage, and even early on in the marriage, but later becomes indifferent. All characters are flawed for all of mankind is flawed, but I find it nearly impossible to read a character whose flaw is indifference toward his once beloved wife, for when she is abandoned to her captors and reconciliation is not likely, or rejected, I am more than uncomfortable.

I have become quite sensitive about marriage. I don't like to see good women mistreated in stories (evil women are another matter), and I most certainly find myself greatly uncomfortable when the sanctity of a marriage is disregarded or despoiled. Perhaps I'm too sensitive. It sounds like what I don't like are embodiments of my own worst fears. I imagine the problem lies with me, but I must conclude I am still somewhat of a romantic, and when a romance is dissolved I mourn (and I don't much like mourning over fiction).